Nice joke

On a ship, the Project managers of three different companies belonging to 3Different nations were traveling with their Trainee guys.

They started an argument on whose Trainee engineer had more guts......
The American PM called for one of his men and told him to jump off and takeA round swimming around the moving ship.

The Trainee did as he was commanded. The American PM boasted of by saying,"See the guts!"....

Now the German PM called out for one of his men and asked him to take twoSimilar rounds around the moving ship.

The Trainee did as he was told. When he came back from the water the GermanPM said, "See the guts!"....

Now the Indian PM called out for his most courageous man and asked him totake five similar rounds.

The Trainee promptly replied, “Why the hell should I???"*The PM proudly said, “See the guts!”*

Fact about IT guys.. nice pic

"Don't worry he is on BENCH!!!!"

Brick labourer..somewhere in bangladesh

Good joke :)

A sardarji goes for a job interview in an office.

The interviewer starts with the basics. "So, Mr, can you tell us your age, please?"The sardarji counts carefully on his fingers for half a minute before replying. "Um ... 22."

The interviewer tries another straightforward one to break the ice. "And can you tell us your height, please?"The sardarji stands up and produces a measuring tape from his handbag... he then traps one end under his foot and extends the tape to the top of his head. He checks the measurement and announces, "Five foot two!"

This isn't looking good so the interviewer goes for the real basics; something the he won't have to count, measure, or lookup. "Just to confirm for our records, your name please?"
The sardarji bobs his head from side to side for about fifteen seconds, saying something silently to himself, before replying, "Gurpreet!" .

The interviewer is completely baffled at this stage, so he asks, "What were you doing when I asked you your name?""Oh, that!" replies the sardarji," I was just running through that song, 'Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you...Happy Birthday dear Gurpreet...happy birthday to you...'

Importance of having friends :)

A very good mail.

कोल्हापुर विषयीची आणखी एक कविता .... कवि अनामिक

कोल्हापुर विषयीची कविता .... कवि अनामिक

Some jokes

Banta to Doctor : Doctor Sahab! Mein apna dimag daan karna chahta hu.
Doctor : Hoga to hum le lenge .

Son to Dad : Papa, Mein itna bada kab hounga ki mein mummy se bina puche bahar ja saku? Papa : Beta abhi itna bada to mein bhi nahi hua!!!

Autowala to Santa : Sahab, 100 rupaye ho gaye. Santa ne 50 rupaye autowale ko de diye. Autowala : Sahab ye to gundagardi hai, meter ki hisab se 100 rupaye hue hai.
Santa : Tu bhi to baithkar aaya hai, tera kiraya bhi kya mujhe dena parega!!!

Ek din Santa ne apni premika ko himmat jutakar keh dala - I love you.
Premika(Gusse se) : Jara pyar se nahi keh sakte?
Santa : I love you Didi!!!!

Girl-to-Boy - Aaye bewafe tune sab kuch saaf kar diya, mera dil jala kar rakh kar diya
Boy-to-Girl - Aye ladki, teri kurbani bekar nahi jayegi, bhej de rakh mujhe, bartan manjne ke kaam aayegi.

Pati aur patni ghumne gaye. Raaste me ek gadhe ko ghaas kata dekh patni ne pati se kaha - Oo G tumhara rishtedaar ghaas kha raha hai, namaste karo.
Pati - Namaste Sasur Ji

Santa ne Banta se kaha,"Sabse bada challenge kya hai?"
Banta replied - Answer sheet ko khaali chod do aur last me likh dena, paas karke dikha.

Frog: Tumhare paas dimaag nahin hai.
Bhola: Hai.
Frog: Nahin hai.
Bhola: Hai.
Frog: Nahin hai and jumps into the well.
Bhola: Isme suicide karne waali kya baat thi.?

Teacher : Santa ye batao tense kitne tarah ke hote hai?
Santa : Teen maidam.
Teacher : Teeno ke ek-ek example batao.
Santa : Madam, meine kal aapki beti ko dekha tha. Aaj mein ussey pyar karta hu aur kal mein ussey bhaga kar le jaunga.

Intel inside..good joke :)

There was a gentleman walking with two heavy suitcases in an airport terminal. Someone approached and asked him what time it was. The gentleman bends down to park the two heavy suitcases and stares at his watch. But this was no ordinary watch! He touches a tiny button and his administrative assistant's face appears. He asks her, "Mary, what time is it?" Mary answers instantly and with a smile!

The questioner is thoroughly impressed!!!He asks, "What kind of a watch is that?"
"It's like a TV with two-way real-time communication," the gentleman explains.
He adds that the watch is the latest technology with Intel's brand new 128-bit chip with processor speed of 10 Gigahertz.

The onlooker is now quite impressed and wanted to know if he could buy this watch from the gentleman. They agree on a heavy price and the cash was handed immediately.
The gentleman takes his watch out and hands it over and then walks away.

The new owner stares at the two heavy suitcases and shouts, "Sir, you forgot your suitcases."The gentleman stops, smiles, and replies, "No, they are yours now. They are the modems you always need to carry for your new watch. "

A break up letter.. :)

A soldier stationed in Afghanistan recently received a letter from his girl friend back home. It read as follows:

Dear Ricky,
I can no longer continue our relationship. The distance between us is just too great. I'm sorry. Please return the picture of me that I sent to you.
Love,
Becky

The soldier, with hurt feelings, asked his fellow soldiers for any snapshots they could spare of their girlfriends, sisters or ex-girlfriends. In addition to the picture of Becky, Ricky included all the other pictures of the pretty gals he had collected from his buddies. There were 57 photos in that envelope along with this note:

Dear Becky,
I'm so sorry, but I can't quite remember who the hell you are. Please take your picture from the pile, and send the rest back to me.
Take Care,
Ricky

Moral of the story: If you can't change your fate, change your attitude.

Akalmand kutta..good one

Ek din ek kutta jungle main raasta kho gaya. Tabhi usane dekha ek sher uskii taraf aa raha hai. Kutte ki saans sookh gayi. "Aaj to kaam tamaam mera!" usne socha. Phir usne saamane kuchh sookhi haddiyan padi dekhi. Woh aate hue sher ki taraf peeth kar ke baith gaya aur ek sookhi hadii ko choosane laga aur zor zor se bolne laga, "wah! Sher ko khaane ka maza hi kuchh aur hai. Ek aur mil jaaye to poori daawat ho jayegi!" Aur usne zor se dakaar mara. Is bar sher sakate mein aa gayaa. Usne socha "ye kutta to sher ka shikar karta hai! Jaan bacha kara bhago!" Aur sher wahan se champat ho gaya.

Ped par baitha ek Bandar yeh sab tamasha dekh raha tha. Usne socha yeh mauka achha hai sher ko sari kahani bata deta hoon - sher se dosti ho jayegi aur usase zindagi bhar ke liye jaan ka khatra dur ho jayega. Woh phataphat sher ke pichhe bhaga. Kutte ne Bandar ko jaate hue dekh liya aur samajh gaya ki koi locha hai. Udhar Bandar ne sher ko sab bata diya ki kaise kutte ne use bewakoof banaya hai. Sher zor se dahada, "chal mere sath abhi uski leela kahatam karta hu" aur Bandar ko apani peeth par baitha kar sher kutte ki taraf lapka.

Kutte ne sher ko aate dekha to ek bar phir uskii taraf peeth karke baith gaya aur zor zor se bolne laga, "Is Bandar ko bheje ek ghanta ho gaya saala ek sher phaans kar nahi la sakta!"
Aur fir Sher dum utha ke bhaag gaya... :)

Billiards..nice shots

Incredible combination of Martial art and football

Amitabh bachchan performs in KBC season 1

Sachin hits six to caddick..

Sachin hits six to caddick... probably shot of the century :)

Ball of the century

Ball of the century, bowled by Shane Warne- Australian leg spinner

Made with the people..awesome video

Bubble magic by Tom noddy

Everything should be in balance.. :)

God was in the process of creating the universe. And he was explaining to his subordinates 'Look everything should be in balance.
For example, after every 10 deer there should be a lion.
Look here my fellow angels, here is the country of the United States.
I have blessed them with prosperity and money.
But at the same time I have given them insecurity and tension...
And here is Africa. I have given them beautiful nature.
But at the same time, I have given them climatic extremes.
And here is South America. I have given them lots of forests.
But at the same time, I have given them lesser land so that they would have to cut off the forests...
So you see fellows, everything should be in balance.
One of the angels asked...
'God, what is this extremely beautiful country here?'
God said.... 'Ahah... that is the crown piece of all;
'INDIA', my most precious creation.
It has understanding and friendly People.Sparkling streams and serene mountains.
A culture which speaks of the great tradition that they live.
Technologically brilliant and with a heart of gold.....
The angel was quite surprised:
'But god you said everything should be in balance.'
.
.
.
.
God replied -- 'Look at the neighbors I gave them'

Movie names if they were dubbed in Marathi :)

IF THESE MOVIES WERE DUBBED IN MARATHI....

1. KUCH KUCH HOTA HAI............. KASATARI HOTAY

2. MACHIS............................................. KADIPETI

3. WOH KAUN THI.................... KON HOTI RE TI

4. HOLLOW MAN............... ...... POKAL MANUS

5. DIE ANOTHER DAY................ NANTAR KADHITARI MAR

6. GONE WITH THE WIND............. GELA UDAT

7. SUPERMAN....................... LAI BHARI MANUS

8. SCORPION KING .................. TATYA VINCHU

9. THE MUMMY ......................AAI

10. THE MUMMY RETURNS............. AAI PARAT AALI

Poem written by prasoon joshi, on Mumbai attacks 26/11

Friends, Read this poem written by lyricist Prasoon Joshi on the recent Mumbai Attacks.

Is baar nahin

Is baar jab woh choti si bachchi mere paas apni kharonch le kar aayegi
Main usey phoo phoo kar nahin behlaoonga
Panapney doonga uski tees ko
Is baar nahin

Is baar jab main chehron par dard likha dekhoonga
Nahin gaoonga geet peeda bhula dene wale
Dard ko risney doonga,utarney doonga andar gehrey
Is baar nahin

Is baar main na marham lagaoonga
Na hi uthaoonga rui ke phahey
Aur na hi kahoonga ki tum aankein band karlo,gardan udhar kar lo main dawa lagata hoon
Dekhney doonga sabko hum sabko khuley nangey ghaav

Is baar nahin
Is baar jab uljhaney dekhoonga,chatpatahat dekhoonga
Nahin daudoonga uljhee door lapetney
Uljhaney doonga jab tak ulajh sake
Is baar nahin

Is baar karm ka hawala de kar nahin uthaoonga auzaar
Nahin karoonga phir se ek nayee shuruaat
Nahin banoonga misaal ek karmyogi ki
Nahin aaney doonga zindagi ko aasani se patri par
Utarney doonga usey keechad main,tedhey medhey raston pe
Nahin sookhney doonga deewaron par laga khoon
Halka nahin padney doonga uska rang
Is baar nahin banney doonga usey itna laachaar
Ki paan ki peek aur khoon ka fark hi khatm ho jaye
Is baar nahin

Is baar ghawon ko dekhna hai
Gaur seThoda lambe wakt tak
Kuch faisleyAur uskey baad hausley
Kahin toh shuruat karni hi hogi
Is baar yahi tay kiya hai

... Prasoon Joshi

Innovative ideas for sucide

If still you can not get success then
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Get Married ……

Hindu and Muslim.. incomplete without U and I.

"Deadlock" - with beautiful example!!!

Never say die........ a very good pic to explain the attitude.

Three things in life

A mail about three things....good one.
Three Things...... .... Three things in life that, once gone, never come back
Time
Words
Opportunity








Three things in life that may never be lost
Peace
Hope
Honesty





Three things in life that are most valuable
Love
Self - Confidence
Friends





Three things in life that are never certain
Dreams
Success
Fortune





Three things that make a man/woman
Hardwork
Sincerity
Commitment





Three things in life that can destroy a man/woman
Alcohol
Pride
Anger





Three things in life that, once lost, hard to build-up
Respect
Trust
Friends








Three things in life that never fail
True Love
Determination
Belief




REMEMBER...The shortest distance between a problem and a solution is the distance between your knees and the floor. The one who kneels to the Lord, can stand up to anything.

Integration testing failed.

आम्ही आणि क्रेडिट कार्ड वाली कन्या !!

आज एकदम चांगलं मेल आलं होतं म्हंटलं इथं कॉपी-पेस्ट करावं ;)

आम्ही आणि क्रेडिट कार्ड वाली कन्या !!

आपण कुठल्या ना कुठल्या कामात असताना ह्या क्रेडिट कार्ड वाल्यांचा फोन येत नाही असे होत नाही. आधि मला सुध्दा संताप यायचा पण मग आता आम्ही ह्याचा आनंद घ्यायला शिकलो आहे, आणी आता तर आमची खात्रीच झाली आहे कि हे फोन आम्हाला तणावमुक्त करण्यासाठीच येतात. आपल्यालाहि ह्यातुन काही फायदा व्हावा ह्या सदहेतुने आमचे संभाषण येथे देत आहोत. (ह्यात कोणालाहि दुखवायचा हेतु नाही.)
वेळ :- दुपारी २.१५ (गरगरित जेवण करुन नुकतेच आडवे झालो आहोत)
कन्या :- गुड आफ्टरनून सर, आय एम कॉलींग फ्रॉम दरोडा बॅंक.
आम्ही :- जय महाराष्ट्र ! (पहिल्याच चेंडुवर षटकार)
कन्या :- नमस्ते सर, मी दरोडा बॅंकेमधुन बोलतीये, आम्ही एक नविन क्रेडिट कार्ड लॉंच करतोय त्या विषयी माहिति द्यायला हा फोन केला होता सर. तुम्ही इंट्रेस्टेड आहात का सर ?
आम्ही :- कोणाच्यात ?
कन्या :- सर कार्डमध्ये
आम्ही:- ओह्ह अच्छा , काय आहे ना कि आयुष्यात पहिल्यांदा कोणीतरी येवढ्या गोड आवाजात इंट्रेस्टेड आहात का ? असे विचारले हो, त्यामुळे जरा गोंधळ उडाला बघा.
कन्या :- (मनातल्या मनात खुश झाली असावी) मग सर तुम्हाला कधि वेळ आहे ?
आम्ही :- अहो तुमच्या साठी वेळच वेळ आहे आमच्याकडे !
कन्या :- तसे नाही सर, ह्या कार्ड विषयी माहिती देण्यासाठी.
आम्ही :- अहो असे मला गोंधळवु नका हो, एक तर सुंदर मुलीशी बोलायचे म्हणजे आमची आधिच वाचा बसते. मला सांगा तुमच्याच कार्डची माहिती मी तुम्हाला कशी आणी का द्यायची ?
कन्या :- (डबल खुश होत ) अय्या अहो सर म्हणजे तुम्हाला कधी वेळ आहे ? आमचा प्रतिनिधी येउन तुम्हाला पुर्ण माहिती देइल.
आम्ही :- एक प्रश्न विचारतो रागवु नका, तुमचे नाव मंजिरी आहे का हो ? आणी तुम्ही अहिल्यादेवी शाळेत होता का ?
कन्या :- नाही ! आपण कार्ड विषयी बोलुयात का ?
आम्ही :- बघा रागवलात ना तुम्ही ? आहो एक खुप चांगली मैत्रिण होती हो माझी ह्या नावाची, अगदी असाच गोड आवाज आणी असेच जड जड मराठी शब्द वापरायची सवय होती हो तिला. तुमचा आवाज ऐकला आणी तिच आठवली बघा पटकन, माफ़ करा मला. म्हणतात ना आपली दुख: हि लोकासाठी विनोद असतात तेच खरे.
कन्या :- (भावुक स्वरात) नाही रागावले नाही सर. कुठे असतात त्या आता ? त्या पण बॅंकेत असतात का ?
आम्ही :- नाही हो, लहानपणीचा ताटातुट झाली आमची, कुठे आहे काय करते ... काही काही माहीत नाही हो. (आम्ही जमेल तेव्हड्या दु:खी सुरात)
कन्या :- (चिकाटी न सोडता) ओह, सो सॉरी सर. आज वेळ काढु शकाल का सर तुम्ही ?
आम्ही :- हो जरूर, तुम्हाला भेटुन आनंदच होइल मला. पुन्हा त्या जुन्या आठवणी ताज्या होतील आणी मग आज तरी निदान दारू ची गरज लागणार नाही मला... (फुल्ल टु देवदास इस्टायील)
कन्या :- सर, मला भेटुन ? आमचा त्या भागातला एजंट येउन भेटेल सर तुम्हाला. मी नाही. (हळु हळु कन्या त्रासीक स्वरात बोलायला लागली आहे.)
आम्ही :- अरे असे कसे ? फोन करणार तुम्ही, वेळ देणार आम्ही तुम्हाला, आणी तो का भेटायला येणार ? मेहनत करे मुर्गा आपले मुर्गी आणी अंडा खाये फकीर ?
कन्या :- (प्रचंड नाराजीने) सर, आम्ही फक्त कॉल सेंटर साठी काम करतो. लोकांना भेटण्यासाठी वेगळी माणसे नेमली आहेत.
आम्ही :- अच्छा म्हणजे फोनवर टोप्या घालणारी आणी प्रत्यक्षात टोप्या घालणारी वेगवेगळी माणसे आहेत तर !!
कन्या :- पार्डन सर ?? (आतुन संतापाचे स्फोट होत असावेत त्यामुळे कन्या परत इंग्लिश वर घसरली आहे)
आम्ही :- नाही म्हणजे तुमच्या भेटिचा योग नाहीच म्हणा की, काये मन कसे वेडे असते बघा, लगेच तुमच्या भेटीची स्वप्न रंगवुन तय्यार. लबाड कुठले !
कन्या :- सर सध्या तुम्ही कुठले कार्ड वापरत आहात ?
आम्ही :- नेटवाला.कॉम चे. पण ४ वर्ष झाली अजुन कसे आणी कुठे वापरायचे ते कळाले नाहिये.
कन्या :- सर, मी क्रेडिट कार्ड बद्दल बोलत आहे.
आम्ही :- हो, ते तुम्ही फोन उचलल्या उचलल्या सांगीतलेत की !
कन्या :- सर, आय मिन सध्या तुम्ही कुठले क्रेडिट कार्ड वापरता ?
आम्ही :- अहो रेशन कार्ड नाहिये माझ्याकडे अजुन, क्रेडिट कार्ड बद्दल काय विचारताय ? पण खरच आपण नाहि का हो भेटु शकणार ? अगदी तुमच्या सोयीच्या वेळी.
कन्या :- सर तुम्हाला कार्ड हवे आहे का ? मला बाकीच्या ग्राहकांना सुध्दा फोन करायचे आहेत. प्लिज कार्ड विषयी बोला.
आम्ही :- तुम्ही तुमचे काम उरकुन घ्या ना निवांत. माझा नंबर तर आहेच तुमच्याकडे, संध्याकाळी तुम्ही मोकळ्या झाल्यात की मग एक मिस कॉल द्या, मी करतो तुम्हाला फोन.(पलिकडुन असभ्य काहितरी पुटपुटल्याचे ऐकु येउन खाडकन फोन आदळला जातो.)

आपल्यालाच मराठीची लाज का वाटते

First blog

Hmmmm... to start blogging is a very old idea I had in my mind.
I don't wish to be popular through this blogging, but I want to store somewhere the good , funny mails or all time hits on the net. So I will be using this as a data store for all such mails.